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Kevyboy014
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Name: Kevin
Gender: Male
Interests: God, Hockey, Parkour, Cool peoples, Drumming
Expertise: hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey
Occupation: hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey
Industry: hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Kevyboy014; same on every medium
Member Since:
6/11/2006
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| Where'd you go?So I was just having my prayer time with my Jesus... He's awesome, by the way... My prayer time was unusually amazing, but that's beside the point of this blog...
I randomly had a song I've probably only 2 or 3 times, and definitely not just sat down and listened to, pop into my head: Where'd you go, by fort minor... DISCLAIMER: for any of you thinking of youtubing this video right now, I'm not sure I would recommend it. It does have some vulgarity in it... Unfortunately... However, this version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPtbnf0uOjc has the audio censored... Not the video, but if you're bad a lip-reading this music video, or just don't watch it, than that might work for you.
Anyways, just the chorus of this song got into my head, which goes like so:
"Where'd you go? I miss you so Seems like it's been forever That you've been gone Please come back home"
At first I was really confused why this song would pop into my head, and dismissed it as one of those random songs that just seem to get into my head sometimes...
But then I started to understand why God probably shoved this into my head.... Annnnd consequently started crying...
This is EXACTLY how God probably feels about a lot of people right now. How many times have people broken God's heart in this way? How many people does God want to sing this to daily?
"Where'd you go? I miss you so Seems like it's been forever That you've been gone Please come back home"
There's gotta be so many people that God is just crying and dying for.... Wondering where they went.... Where is the light that you held so high? Where is the passion that burned brighter each day? Where did you go? I miss you so much... I'll give it all again, if you'd only turn around and find my arms of love... I'd die again, to have you turn around and embrace the One who created you...
Where'd you go? I miss you so Seems like it's been forever That you've been gone PLEASE COME BACK HOME...
God's intense passion for those that were once walking so closely and now have just backsliden is insane.... His heart aches for those who were once so bright, and now have faded until they only seem noticeable on Sunday mornings...
"And I remember when you used to say... 'Jesus is the way'... I never thought I'd see your light begin to fade..." - DC Talk, My Friend (So Long)
How many times have we broken God's heart as we turn away from His plea...
"Where'd you go? I miss you so Seems like it's been forever That you've been gone
Please.... Come back home... Come run into my open arms... I won't force you, I won't grab you and make you love me.... I am a gentleman of complete patience, but my heart breaks more and more every day, as I see the one I love, the one that walked so close to me, drift further and further... Please... Come back to me, and know my love.... It's worth the world..."
God... Let my life never break your heart, though I'm sure it already has in more ways I'll ever know... I pray You'd keep me close, keep me safe... I'll rest in You... Keep me reliant on You...
God
You're the One | | |
| In His Footsteps...He loves me....
Isn't that insane?
So this blog is... Going to be very disconnected... Don't have a singular focus here, but we'll see what happens...
So I was having my prayer time, doing my usual guitaring and whatnot, and really, again, for the second night in a row, was having a really hard time feeling God's presence.... So I just started walking around, pacing, and just asked God to help me walk in His footsteps... Not in anyone else's... Not in my amazing brother, or older brother, or any of my amazing sisters or parents, but in His footsteps... To place my feet where His are, and to learn to walk, talk, and think like Him.... God give me Your heart..... Give me just a sliver of Your heart...
So I went back to my chair and wrote this:
"In Your footsteps I will walk Every step I take In surrender I will live Yet I won't wait My life is Yours today Every nuance of me Lord here I am
I'm here... This is me"
I simply want my life to be what God wants my life to be....
Here I am... My everything....
I then proceeded to lie down on the nasty dirt back there (sorry 'bout the wash, mom!), and within 5 seconds saw one of the longest and coolest shooting stars ever.... And just thought about how much God loves me... That He'd just send that down, just so I could know how much He loves me... That the God that flung the stars, that died on the Cross, that leads me everywhere I go, did so all thinking of me.... And I just started to whisper, over and over again...
"You love me" "You love me" "You love me" "You love me"
What a God that He could do that... Love... Freely... That everything I do is completely pointless... That, no matter what I do or don't do, that if I wait my entire life before commiting myself to God, He'll still welcome me as a long-lost son..
That's the kinda God I wanna live my life for.... 
In Your footsteps I will walk Every step I take In surrender I will live Yet I won't wait My life is Yours today Every nuance of me Lord here I am This is me
I'll live my all For the Glory of God Because the price You paid Was with a thought of my soul
Jesus, You love me I'm the focus of Your love I'm Your everything And You love me more than life
So this is my all Here at Your feet Teach me oh God To live for You
I'll walk after You I'll lay my life down I'll give it all for the God who gave His all so I could give it all....
You love me... | | |
| Mhmm... More midnight thoughts...So I was outside, hanging with the coolest being ever, and my Best Friend, and kinda winding down my time with Him, praying for some people and whatnot... And looking up at the full moon, I thought back to the movie I had watched earlier, "Pirates of the Carribean," in which, shortly after Elizabeth discovers the curse put on the pirates of the Black Pearl, Captian Barbosa comments "The moonlight shows us for what we really are..."
And a thought hit me...
If we, as humans, the entire human race, were like that, how many people would go outside at night?
If all humans were made visible for what they really are by the moonlight, were shown to be who they are inside, before God (which you always are... Just... Ya know, sidepoint) and man, would anyone want to go outside at night?
I think that WAY to many Christians (myself included here.. Don't think I'm above any of the stuff I ever write about... This is how I know it so well  are living lies. At least the way I see and experience it, they put on themselves the label of "Christian" while living lives that bare a striking resembalence to some UN-Christians I know, and in some ways, act much more wordly. Any witness they might have for Christ is easily overrun by their wordly ways, leading any onlooker to assume that "Christain" IS just a label. As my brother (in-law, but he's close enough) Chris Lincoln put it in his song "Simply Adoration"..
"This is not my obligation This is simply adoration Jesus I love You Jesus I adore You..."
So simple, yet what to many Christians are neglecting... God is not a label. God is not an obligation. God is not reading your Bible twice a day and faithfully going to church.
God is love. God is a relationship that ever person needs, whether they know it or not. God-shaped holes can be plugged with wordly things extremely easily, and sometimes to the point where one can ignore for long periods of time.... But the world and God simply don't mix.... God is love, and the world has distorted that word so badly it makes me sick to my stomach. God is relationship, and I don't even wanna go there....
When Christianity is given such a bad name by so many of it's "members," as if Christianity could be equated to some club, I honestly don't wonder why more people are coming to church. We aren't much different. If God is just a ticket to heaven, who wants to go? If heaven is a place full of Someone that, on this earth anyways, seems to be just a way to get there.... Is there a point?
This is one of my favorite quotes of all time, because it is true beyond what most "Christians" would be willing to acknowledge:
”The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” - Brennan Manning
If we would live every day completely exposed, yet still be completely in love with the One who made us, we would change the world in short order. Anyone with me?
"God... To many lies... To much smoke and mirrors... To much effort into doing the right things and saying the right things, while BEING is completely neglected by so many.... God save us, and help us live life for You, before we waste it being wordly 'Christians.'
God... Help us rise up, become REAL, and change the world.....
Here am I... Send me..." | | |
| Man, I'm on a roll... Or... Maybe just I'm bored...Wow.... I mean... Wow... Man.... God is stinking awesome.... Yeah?
God's amazing... I was just having my prayer time... And... Suddenly felt an intense feeling of God being PROUD of me... Which was incredible to me, based on the fact that... Well... I basically had just let my mind wander to much... I just.... Couldn't get over the idea that God would be so intensely proud and happy about me, despite my failings that would take a lifetime to count, not to mention commit.
God... I can't believe what love You gave and give every day... That You could love me is amazing. That You could die for me is beyond minds... But the fact that You could, beyond all my shortcomings and many failings, be proud of me... Takes my breath away and blows whatever facet of understanding I might have left, and reduces me to knees and tears...
How the heck could You be proud of me? Man... I just feel... So low each and every time I sin and shame You... Each and every time I know I disappoint You... Each and every time I slip up, no matter how "small" or "big," though I know to You there really isn't measurements...
So I randomly wrote some stuff... If you're expecting polished, well-written and rhyming verses, well... You're kinda gonna be disappointed... These are just some thoughts written down.... I really hope I can get some polish into these though, because this whole idea is really amazing to me... Me, this selfish, sinful, screw up of a human being.... And yet...
PROUD
God, I feel like nothing... God I screw up so much
And yet I feel You answer me with nothing but pride
I know this isn't me, I look at myself as dust
In all the times I fail and fall
And consider myself a bust
But through my failure and frustration
Somehow I feel Your smile
I can't believe how it's possible
But somehow; You're proud!
Jesus, how can this be?
That You would smile down on me
This wretch, this slave, this broken life
And consider me worthy of Your strife
When everything I've ever been
Is a burden to Your heart
With all of my shame and sin
Yet I still feel Your heart start
What love could this be?
That You could smile down on me...
"God," my soul cries out
"I'm a failure and a screw-up
My mind is a mess and my heart is corrupt
But somehow I still feel Your love
Proud
I hear that word loud
It's what You are of me
Despite all of me
What a love, what a love
What love could this be?
All I've done for You is burden You and shame You
How are You proud of this mess?
Overwhelmed by a love so powerful
It could love a wretch like me
Astounded by a pride that lives
When all I do is shame
God I don't understand this
This love You give
But I'll take it anyways
And I'll give You a life to live...
That probably means nothing to any of you... That's okay... This was more just to... Throw it out.... This was probably more for me than anyone else.... But... Comment if you so desire anyways...
Man... Jesus.... Proud of me.... That's something pretty insane... Unfathomable... | | |
| My faithful pencil flashlight has recently developed the habit of slowly dimming over time, even though the battery, to the best of my knowledge, is quite full. It seems to start out really bright, and then slowly gets dimmer until I can't see, and then I have to turn it off, and then back on again, which provides for some more light before it dims out again...
Yeah... Most of you probably know where I'm headed..
How many of us are so similar? As Christians, I mean... Most of us probably aren't flashlights. I hope.
Seriously though... How many of us, every time there's a conference or an especially good church service are as bright as could be, eager to tell the world that Jesus is simply amazing. And then life comes.... Rats..
And suddenly I find myself dimming rather quickly, wondering where the fire and passion that all but consumed me went...
"Whatever happened to the passion I could live for? What became of the flame that made me feel more? And when did I forget, that I was made to love You?"
- Tobymac, Made to love
How many times does it happen among us, with me, that we go to something like Gen-Con or something similar, have an absolutly incredible and "life-changing" experience with God... Only to look back 2 months later and realize that our lives are exactly the same... The "life-changing" event that inspired us with passion and drive quickly turned into just a phase, a fizzling emotion that soon is just a good memory, and we forget how sure we were of who God is....
God... Help our memories....
I personally have seen it in so many youth, not to mention myself... That for a week after a particular event, everyone is fired up. The leaders are fired up and doing stuff, and all the youth are on board, ready and willing to do whatever the heck God wants...
And then next week, you'd hardly reconize them. Oh, check that. You reconize them fine, it's just that for about a week they changed into someone else...
And that is the problem. Instead of being temporarily brought down by the world, but ultimately living life sold out for God, we are temporarily "completely sold out for God," but soon lapse into our old ways of thinking. The "life-changing" event soon turns into "Week-changing," and, like I said, it becomes a distant memory. And usually that memory soon gets turned into talking about everything BUT the actual experience. Instead of talking about Gen-Con in terms of the amazing experience we had, we share inside jokes or particular things that might've happened (such as 2 years ago with Kyle reading the entirety of the new Harry Potter book over the 3 days)...
We feel almost afraid, retiscient to talk about the real reason we were there-Jesus Christ, and the changes He can spark in all of our lives. Instead we talk about playing soccer in the parking lot, or other random, stupid, late-night and tired things that happened.
Jesus help me...
"God, I pray for our youth right now... God, let it not be an event, a particular happening that changes them. God, events are brief, and often inspire a short-term change. God, rather than basing everything on emotion, I pray that You would inspire passion and fire in them that drives them to give everything to You each and every day. That every single day they live would be focused on You... God, not that a few days at a conference or a good church service would change them for a few days to a week. God, but that it would change them for the rest of eternity, and allow that to have a domino effect on everyone they know...
God... Let us change the world..." | | |
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